2014 /15 Season Previews

Welcome to the annual pre season predictions from our expert panel of fantasy football gurus. We are also revealing the new look 5 year anniversary club crests designed and created as ever by Brad. Awesome work pal!

Last season saw three new winners with the Dogbots, Toffees and, unbelievably, BareAssAlona all walking off into the sunset with trophies full of prize money stuffed under their arms.

This only goes to show that with a little bit of consistent application, success is possible because as PNE, Everton and Latics fans respectively it is clear none of last seasons victors know the least bit about football!!

This year we have 26 teams entered with a mix of familiar faces and a few new ones to boot.

So without further ado here we have this years run down on the runners and riders for this years trophies.

































2014/15 Season new look

We are now into our second gameweek of the new BeerandBoobs Fantasy Football season.

Not only does this seasons previews coincide with the unveiling of our new look website but also the fantastic re design of the club logos to celebrate the end of our fifth season. As you know our artist in residence loves a new challenge and this year Brad has outdone himself by not only designing a logo for the new teams but also restyling all of the existing teams to give their logo a stylish modern feel.

We think the new look is awesome. Look out for your team logo in the previews to follow.

BeerandBoobs V Pre Season Preview one

Only two weeks to go now til the start of BeerandBoobs V and it about time we started to have a look at the runners and riders for glory this time around. So far we have lost two teams for sure and gained one new one so many of the rogues in the following gallery will be familiar. We start with last years play off winners.

Spiros and the ArgoDwarfs

Last Season: 5th, Play off Winners

Prediction : 4th

Most likely to: Play his wildcard inside the first 3 weeks

Least likely to: Buy a top shelf magazine without any help.

Wii Unfit

Last Season: 19th, 

Prediction : 14th

Most likely to: Win the cup

Least likely to: Admit Blackpool is a shithole


Italian Job

Last Season: 10th

Prediction : 10th

Most likely to: Feign apathy toward the whole thing

Least likely to: Publicly take it seriously

United by Fear

Last Season: 3rd

Prediction : 6th

Most likely to: Get sued for assault tackling supermarket shoplifters

Least likely to: Pick his team while sober

Who R we Playin Now?

Last Season: 18th

Prediction : 19th

Most likely to: Complain the whole thing is fixed and rigged purely to piss him off.

Least likely to: Be the first to enter BeerandBoobs VI


Last Season: 20th

Prediction : 13th

Most likely to: Improve considerably on last year

Least likely to: Actually win something

Garbonzo FC

Last Season: 2nd

Prediction : 2nd

Most likely to: Win the Play Off Final this year

Least likely to: Tweet

Sticky Toffees

Last Season: 8th, Cup Runner Up

Prediction : 12th

Most likely to: Complain he is not predicted a top 8 finish. 

Least likely to: Accept a dubious assist without complaining.

Coops Troops
Last Season: 9th

Prediction : 7th

Most likely to: Get bummed by a pervert (see pic)

Least likely to: Have John Terry meet his missus.


69ers are Gonners


New Springs 69ers manager David Hughes broke the news over the weekend that last season would be the last for his 69ers side.

The 69ers become the second team from last years competition to be wound up.

Hughes has decided that juggling fantasy management with fatherhood was simply one plate too many to spin.

Although Hughes seemed adamant that this would be the end if the road for the 69ers some still felt that the may be some hope for a dramatic change of mind with just two weeks to the season opener as peer pressure from close friend and fellow manager Cooper begins in earnest.

The door never closes in Beerandboobs (unless of course the door is actually closed due to the deadline being reached for entry of course) and Hughes crisis of faith will of course be forgiven as long as he gets his team entered on time.

The Last Samurai


Word reached the BeerandBoobs press office overnight that one of the most successful BeerandBoobs teams has been voluntarily wound up.

Sixteen Samurai have been present in the league after joining half way through BeerandBoobs I and in that time have won both the Fantasy Cup in 2010 and the Play Off Championship in 2012, a feat only bettered by the most successful team in BeerandBoobs history, Steaua Needarest.

Manager Rory may have been the quiet man of BeerandBoobs but there is no doubting his ability to bring home the silverware.

The reason for his decision to wind up the Samurai is an original one as their manager takes the opportunity to attend a 12 month secondment to study at University in Stockholm!!!

Whatever the reason we would like to wish Rory all the best.

Dwarfs Reach New Heights

And so the final curtain has been drawn on yet another tumultuous season dominated yet again by the Fantasy Football giants that are Steaua NeedaRest. However, Steaua were unable to achieve the ultimate accolade of triple winners after they retained the league championship and the cup earlier in the season the play offs once again proved a step too far!

In fact it was anything but a giant of the league who rose to the challenge of taking the final prize of the season as two founder members of BeerandBoobs fought out the Play Off Final.  The Dwarfs and the Toffees emerged from the play offs as the two teams to play for the honour of having a star above their badge next season.

In the end the Toffees were a little disappointing and Spiros was left with plenty in the tank as his dwarfs breezed to a relatively straight forward win, the Dwarfs first major trophy in their long history.

Congratulations to the Dwarfs on both their victory and in stopping Steaua from taking every bit of prize money.

Unsurprisingly Balo’s Firework managed to finish last in the league stage – much to the delight of BareAssAlona manager McLaughlin who has made last place his own in previous seasons but BareAssAlona shouldn’t get too pleased with themselves after winning the biggest disappointment of the season award as they stormed to the top of the league in the initial weeks looking good for a play off place only to suffer a catastrophic slump over the middle of the season ending up in a poor 11th place.

Rookie of the year was scooped by Garbonzo FC finishing a fantastic 2nd in their first year and they will be definitely one to watch next season.

An Apology should be due to Morgis Miracles as this blog predicted a dire season for the leagues only female manager, when in fact they made the play off semi finals but as they did in fact win fuck all I feel justified as that exactly what we predicted they’d win.

So the season ends once again and we are left planning our strategies for next season.

Well done one and all, See you in August!!

Play Off Semi Finals Throw Up Intruiging Ties.

As the dust settled on the midweek results which saw the conclusion of the play off quarter finals a couple of shock results became apparent.

First of all the Toffees who had barely scraped into the top eight managed to annihilate the  treble chasing favourites Steaua NeedaRest who’s luck finally ran out with the holy grail in sight. Many will be glad to see the back of Steaua as we reported in our last blog the league is becoming more one sided that the Scottish PL.

We will be treated to a new play off champion as the quarter finals also saw previous winners Angry Dragons make their exit as well as perennial bridemaids Dyslexic Untied who yet again find themselves without any silverware for their toils. The Dwarfs and the league runners up Garbonzo FC were the teams to take advantage in this instance and now both will meet each other in the semi final in a mouthwatering tie.

The other surprise result wasn’t one due to the fact that it was achieved by a team “allegedly” being managed by our only female manager (although we have our suspicions that Dwarfs Manager and husband may have more than one of his stubby fingers in the running of the Miracles) but more to the fact that United By Fear made no changes whatsoever in a remarkable lack of attention by their man in charge.

So we are left with a semi final line up that looks like this:

Morgi’s Miracles v Sticky Toffees
GARBONZO! v Spiros&TheArgoDwarfs

Good Luck to all those still left in with a shout and commiserations to the rest.

Please note that all outstanding entry fees are due immediately. Prizes will NOT be paid out until there is the money in the pot to pay them. Please be fair to those due winnings and get you money to me asap. email reminders have been sent out to those who still have outstanding fees

Has BeerandBoobs become the new Scottish Premier League?

Of course we must congratulate Steaua Needarest this weekend as they celebrate an unbelievable cup and league double last week to cap yet another successful campaign with more silverware.

Apart from the inaugural season, which was struck from the records after Gally City took the title, Steaua have not failed to win something in each of the last 3 seasons.

They won the cup and league double in 2011, the league again in 2012 and the league and cup double again in 2013 with the play offs still to come.

There are two questions being asked by other managers. Can they take an unprecedented treble? And is BeerandBoobs simply becoming as one sided as the Scottish Premier League after the relegation of Rangers?

Indeed the bookies already have Steaua as shorter odds favourites for next year as Celtic for the Scottish Prem.

Does Mollitt have a secret formula? Is he just better than the rest? Is there any point entering next season?

After some deliberation on the matter we can only arrive at one conclusion.

The rest of us have lives!

While the rest of the managers are waking up on Saturday morning getting the kids ready for whatever extra curricular activity they fill their weekends with, Mollitt is studying the fixtures and the injuries to ensure maximum points for his side.

Then through the week when the rest of us are only sitting down at 9.30pm after shopping/cooking/homework/game playing/bathing or bedding the kids, Mollitt has spent three hours tweaking away at his side while his doting wife cooks cleans and generally slaves away on his behalf.

So the answer to BeerandBoobs success would appear to be to divorce the wife, sell the kids and simply live to manage your team.

Who’s first?

New competition for BeerandBoobs managers


If you are looking to fill the void between gameweeks with yet more fantasy football management then we have the answer.

Using a new website called fantasy football manager we are looking to organise a side league, entirely for the fun of it, which will be filled by beerandboobs managers.

The premise is that you manage one of the actual premier league teams such as Manchester Utd, Everton, Wigan etc and use their squads (although there is a transfer market to strengthen if you need to) Only one manger can manage each team.

The website has an app available for iOS and android devices so managing your team is really easy. The beauty of the site is that there is no waiting for gameweeks as one gameweek takes place each night so an entire season takes only 38 days. The trick is to set your team up each day using different formations and tactics in order to hopefully defeat your next opponent. Each morning when you log in the results of each game are shown and the league table updated.

Now obviously only one manager can manage say, Manchester Utd and someone will have to unfortunately manage the likes of Wigan Athletic so you might think it is not a level playing field. Indeed the chances of winning the league will be lower for those not managing a top side but the website has an anser to this to make it fairer.

Each side is given a goal to achieve, so Utd will be expected to finish 1st where as Wigan might only be expected to avoid relegation. Points are then awarded to each manager based on the results each evening for beating teams ranked higher or holding a league position higher than their actual target so it would be possible for the manager of Wigan Athletic to be top of the managers league table if they are in say, 9th or 10th place in the league if their results are good enough. This would be the table we would take the winner from and not necessarily the actual league table.

If it sounds a bit complicated, apologies, it really isn’t.

To make it fair and to avoid arguments over who manages who we are thinking of holding a draw to allocate teams which in the tradition of BeerandBoobs draws will be done in the presence of an independent adjudictor.

If you are interested in joining then either leave a reply below, tweet, text or email and we will get you involved.

Curse of the Cup Strikes Again!!

This weekend saw some scintillating Cup Quarter Final action with the final eight teams slugging it out for a semi final spot.

The quarter final stage was simply a stage too far for the newly installed cup favourites as the dreaded “favourites curse” struck once more. The Dwarfs wilted in the face of a vicious offensive by the Troops who look in good fettle with just two rounds to go.

Spiros took defeat in strangely magnanimous fashion declaring himself worthy of the tag of loser having left 14 points on his bench, a mistake also made by Brewder’s Untied which allowed BeerandBoobs’ very own Bradford City, Wii Unfit to sneak past a shocked Untied team.

Full results are below.

Steaua Needarest 81 v 56 Italian Job
Coops Troops 55 v 50 Spiros and the ArgoDwarfs
Garbonzo FC 71 v 69 BEGD FC
Dyslexic Untied 42 v 52 Wii Unfit

In the other games the league leaders, Steaua Needarest,  are still on course for an unprecedented treble as a masterful display saw them breeze past Metacafe’s Italian Job who, in true Italian fashion, simply raised the white flag in putting up a pathetic effort to win their match.

BEGD FC put up a much more spirited fight and must be feeling mightily unlucky after looking to be in a strong position going into the final game saw a certain buck toothed Uruguayan wearing the Garbonzo FC captains armband run riot to take a narrow win.

So we are now left without a cup favourite and tradition dictates that another must be independently selected. Who must now carry the burden of the “Favourites Curse”?

Wii Unfit can be instantly discounted as their appearance in the semi finals is simply down to a bad week by Dyslexic Untied and they cannot be truly considered to stand any chance. Coops Troops must be a real contender with the experience they have but manager Cooper’s attention span is still a little suspect and there are two stronger candidates left.

Garbonzo have been the surprise of the season so far although major rival Mollitt did suggest that FC’s manager Big George was quite a handy fantasy manager as the season kicked off so his second place in the league and semi final birth should not be so surprising. Could they be our new favourites with no weight of expectation to hold them back?

We don’t think so.

Steaua Needarest are attempting the leagues first ever triple as they lead the league by a considerable margin and cant seem to help but score anything less that 80 points each week at the moment. Mollitt has his eyes on the prize and beating Garbonzo FC in a final would be the cherry on the cake for BeerandBoobs most decorated manager.

Steaua therefore will be duly installed as the new cup favourites and must attempt to shake off the dreaded curse!

The semi finals will be held over gameweek 31 and the draw for the semi final lineup will be made this Sunday as usual live on twitter at 7pm