Real SociableDad Manager in desperate transfer attempt expose!
Real Manager Coll Jenkins has been accused of indecent behaviour by a mystery player who claims that he was treated to an all expenses paid day out at the races by the wobbly one earlier this year when Coll got more and more drunk and made lewd advances to him in order to persuade him to sign.
Coll has been exposed by our intrepid photographer during his attempts to lure the German midfielder to put pen to paper and sign to play for Real SociableDad this year. Coll was heard by numerous racegoers to utter numerous unmentionable acts that he was prepared to make himself available for if only the midfield maestro would agree to come and play for him this year.
Pictured as he whispered one such utterance it was clear to those watching that the player simply wasn’t interested in moving to Real if this was the kind of lecherous behaviour he could expect from his new manager.
As the day wore on, Jenkins drank more and more cider and our reporter managed to sneak himself on the coach back to the hotel where he witnessed Jenkins as he resorted to trying to entertain his prey with his repertoire of dodgy impressions.
Unimpressed the player had the driver stop at the side of the road while he apparently relieved himself in the bushes. After 25 minutes of waiting for him to return to the coach it Jenkins became suspicious and after searching the bushes had to concede defeat when he realised his target had done a runner. As Coll returned to the coach a dejected and broken man our reporter managed to catch up with the errant German as he took refuge in the undergrowth.
“Zat vos one of ze vurst dayz of my life!, Vot vos my manager sinking? Never could I play for such a man. He sinks I am, vot you say er…a Sitzpisser, er a NancyBoy?, a pole smoker? vich vay is ze nearest airport, I must get myself back to ze mozerland and qvickly”
Coll was unavailable for comment and claimed his hangover prevented him from remembering any details of the previous days trip.