BareAssAlona manager in “My team is too good to come last” Shocker
It hasn’t been the easiest of starts to the season for many of the league’s teams. There are some teams which are currently punching above their weight (Coops Troops, Real SociableDad, Italian Job, Phatties) and some that have been surprisingly underwhelming so far (the ArgoDwarves, Dyslexic Untied and the Dragons) Then there are those that have simply done something completely unexpected and done so well in relation to what was expected of them.
I am of course talking about BareAssAlona.
BareAssAlona are the perennial underachievers of the competition. No one ever expects them to win anything and they never let anyone down by doing so. They are expected to lose most weeks, they turn up for each game and duly do their level best to not to win. Sometimes they have a bad week (well every team can have one) and they come up against a team that is having a bit of a nightmare and they embarrassingly walk away with all three points.
But so far this season BareAssAlona are being kept off the bottom of the league by a combination of unexpectedly good form and the introduction of two teams that look markedly worse than them. BareAssAlona have already won two of their seven games so far giving them a points total they only expect to have around Christmas and with the Dooms Day Divas and Torpedo Belgrano doing considerably worse things are looking like BareAssAlona have a real fight on their hands in order to come bottom of the table this year.
So it was hardly surprising to hear that BareAssAlona manager Kieron McLoughlin went into an apoplectic rage at his team when asked if he was ready for the challenge of their biggest derby game of the season against Steaua NeedaRest this weekend.
“Are you kidding me?” Kieron started, “Am I confident? Am I bollocks” I do my best to completely de motivate my lads each and every week and what do they do? They keep putting up a proper fight and winning games. Frankly I’m embarrassed to be associated with this club at the moment.”
When asked what the fans think of their start to the season McLoughlin claimed:
“Our fans don’t deserve this. They don’t support us because they want do see silverware or glory days, we’ll leave that to the big four-and-a-half (Dragons, Steaua, Untied, Girls and the Dwarves), thanks. BareAssAlona have a proud history of being piss poor under my management, I and I don’t intend to stand idly by and watch two complete novices come along and steal my thunder.”
Pressed on what he thought he could do about it he was unequivocal. ”
“I intend to start taking 8 – 12 point hits each week to minimise my chances of winning. Expect that to start this weekend against Steaua. I can clearly say that if we win this weekend it will be nothing to do with me at all. Torpedo and the Divas had better watch out – I’m the Daddy of coming bottom!”
The race for last place looks likely to be just as hotly contested as first this year