Category Archives: General News

BeerandBoobs V Pre Season Preview one

Only two weeks to go now til the start of BeerandBoobs V and it about time we started to have a look at the runners and riders for glory this time around. So far we have lost two teams for sure and gained one new one so many of the rogues in the following gallery will be familiar. We start with last years play off winners.


Spiros and the ArgoDwarfs


Last Season: 5th, Play off Winners

Prediction : 4th

Most likely to: Play his wildcard inside the first 3 weeks

Least likely to: Buy a top shelf magazine without any help.

Wii Unfit


Last Season: 19th, 

Prediction : 14th

Most likely to: Win the cup

Least likely to: Admit Blackpool is a shithole

 

Italian Job


Last Season: 10th

Prediction : 10th

Most likely to: Feign apathy toward the whole thing

Least likely to: Publicly take it seriously

United by Fear


Last Season: 3rd

Prediction : 6th

Most likely to: Get sued for assault tackling supermarket shoplifters

Least likely to: Pick his team while sober

Who R we Playin Now?


Last Season: 18th

Prediction : 19th

Most likely to: Complain the whole thing is fixed and rigged purely to piss him off.

Least likely to: Be the first to enter BeerandBoobs VI

BEGD FC


Last Season: 20th

Prediction : 13th

Most likely to: Improve considerably on last year

Least likely to: Actually win something

Garbonzo FC


Last Season: 2nd

Prediction : 2nd

Most likely to: Win the Play Off Final this year

Least likely to: Tweet

Sticky Toffees


Last Season: 8th, Cup Runner Up

Prediction : 12th

Most likely to: Complain he is not predicted a top 8 finish. 

Least likely to: Accept a dubious assist without complaining.

Coops Troops
Last Season: 9th

Prediction : 7th

Most likely to: Get bummed by a pervert (see pic)

Least likely to: Have John Terry meet his missus.


 

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69ers are Gonners

NSLOGO

New Springs 69ers manager David Hughes broke the news over the weekend that last season would be the last for his 69ers side.

The 69ers become the second team from last years competition to be wound up.

Hughes has decided that juggling fantasy management with fatherhood was simply one plate too many to spin.

Although Hughes seemed adamant that this would be the end if the road for the 69ers some still felt that the may be some hope for a dramatic change of mind with just two weeks to the season opener as peer pressure from close friend and fellow manager Cooper begins in earnest.

The door never closes in Beerandboobs (unless of course the door is actually closed due to the deadline being reached for entry of course) and Hughes crisis of faith will of course be forgiven as long as he gets his team entered on time.

The Last Samurai

NEW CRESTS 4

Word reached the BeerandBoobs press office overnight that one of the most successful BeerandBoobs teams has been voluntarily wound up.

Sixteen Samurai have been present in the league after joining half way through BeerandBoobs I and in that time have won both the Fantasy Cup in 2010 and the Play Off Championship in 2012, a feat only bettered by the most successful team in BeerandBoobs history, Steaua Needarest.

Manager Rory may have been the quiet man of BeerandBoobs but there is no doubting his ability to bring home the silverware.

The reason for his decision to wind up the Samurai is an original one as their manager takes the opportunity to attend a 12 month secondment to study at University in Stockholm!!!

Whatever the reason we would like to wish Rory all the best.

Dwarfs Reach New Heights

And so the final curtain has been drawn on yet another tumultuous season dominated yet again by the Fantasy Football giants that are Steaua NeedaRest. However, Steaua were unable to achieve the ultimate accolade of triple winners after they retained the league championship and the cup earlier in the season the play offs once again proved a step too far!

In fact it was anything but a giant of the league who rose to the challenge of taking the final prize of the season as two founder members of BeerandBoobs fought out the Play Off Final.  The Dwarfs and the Toffees emerged from the play offs as the two teams to play for the honour of having a star above their badge next season.

In the end the Toffees were a little disappointing and Spiros was left with plenty in the tank as his dwarfs breezed to a relatively straight forward win, the Dwarfs first major trophy in their long history.

Congratulations to the Dwarfs on both their victory and in stopping Steaua from taking every bit of prize money.

Unsurprisingly Balo’s Firework managed to finish last in the league stage – much to the delight of BareAssAlona manager McLaughlin who has made last place his own in previous seasons but BareAssAlona shouldn’t get too pleased with themselves after winning the biggest disappointment of the season award as they stormed to the top of the league in the initial weeks looking good for a play off place only to suffer a catastrophic slump over the middle of the season ending up in a poor 11th place.

Rookie of the year was scooped by Garbonzo FC finishing a fantastic 2nd in their first year and they will be definitely one to watch next season.

An Apology should be due to Morgis Miracles as this blog predicted a dire season for the leagues only female manager, when in fact they made the play off semi finals but as they did in fact win fuck all I feel justified as that exactly what we predicted they’d win.

So the season ends once again and we are left planning our strategies for next season.

Well done one and all, See you in August!!

Play Off Semi Finals Throw Up Intruiging Ties.

As the dust settled on the midweek results which saw the conclusion of the play off quarter finals a couple of shock results became apparent.

First of all the Toffees who had barely scraped into the top eight managed to annihilate the  treble chasing favourites Steaua NeedaRest who’s luck finally ran out with the holy grail in sight. Many will be glad to see the back of Steaua as we reported in our last blog the league is becoming more one sided that the Scottish PL.

We will be treated to a new play off champion as the quarter finals also saw previous winners Angry Dragons make their exit as well as perennial bridemaids Dyslexic Untied who yet again find themselves without any silverware for their toils. The Dwarfs and the league runners up Garbonzo FC were the teams to take advantage in this instance and now both will meet each other in the semi final in a mouthwatering tie.

The other surprise result wasn’t one due to the fact that it was achieved by a team “allegedly” being managed by our only female manager (although we have our suspicions that Dwarfs Manager and husband may have more than one of his stubby fingers in the running of the Miracles) but more to the fact that United By Fear made no changes whatsoever in a remarkable lack of attention by their man in charge.

So we are left with a semi final line up that looks like this:

Morgi’s Miracles v Sticky Toffees
GARBONZO! v Spiros&TheArgoDwarfs

Good Luck to all those still left in with a shout and commiserations to the rest.

Please note that all outstanding entry fees are due immediately. Prizes will NOT be paid out until there is the money in the pot to pay them. Please be fair to those due winnings and get you money to me asap. email reminders have been sent out to those who still have outstanding fees

Has BeerandBoobs become the new Scottish Premier League?

Of course we must congratulate Steaua Needarest this weekend as they celebrate an unbelievable cup and league double last week to cap yet another successful campaign with more silverware.

Apart from the inaugural season, which was struck from the records after Gally City took the title, Steaua have not failed to win something in each of the last 3 seasons.

They won the cup and league double in 2011, the league again in 2012 and the league and cup double again in 2013 with the play offs still to come.

There are two questions being asked by other managers. Can they take an unprecedented treble? And is BeerandBoobs simply becoming as one sided as the Scottish Premier League after the relegation of Rangers?

Indeed the bookies already have Steaua as shorter odds favourites for next year as Celtic for the Scottish Prem.

Does Mollitt have a secret formula? Is he just better than the rest? Is there any point entering next season?

After some deliberation on the matter we can only arrive at one conclusion.

The rest of us have lives!

While the rest of the managers are waking up on Saturday morning getting the kids ready for whatever extra curricular activity they fill their weekends with, Mollitt is studying the fixtures and the injuries to ensure maximum points for his side.

Then through the week when the rest of us are only sitting down at 9.30pm after shopping/cooking/homework/game playing/bathing or bedding the kids, Mollitt has spent three hours tweaking away at his side while his doting wife cooks cleans and generally slaves away on his behalf.

So the answer to BeerandBoobs success would appear to be to divorce the wife, sell the kids and simply live to manage your team.

Who’s first?

New competition for BeerandBoobs managers

online-footbal-manager-screen3

If you are looking to fill the void between gameweeks with yet more fantasy football management then we have the answer.

Using a new website called fantasy football manager we are looking to organise a side league, entirely for the fun of it, which will be filled by beerandboobs managers.

The premise is that you manage one of the actual premier league teams such as Manchester Utd, Everton, Wigan etc and use their squads (although there is a transfer market to strengthen if you need to) Only one manger can manage each team.

The website has an app available for iOS and android devices so managing your team is really easy. The beauty of the site is that there is no waiting for gameweeks as one gameweek takes place each night so an entire season takes only 38 days. The trick is to set your team up each day using different formations and tactics in order to hopefully defeat your next opponent. Each morning when you log in the results of each game are shown and the league table updated.

Now obviously only one manager can manage say, Manchester Utd and someone will have to unfortunately manage the likes of Wigan Athletic so you might think it is not a level playing field. Indeed the chances of winning the league will be lower for those not managing a top side but the website has an anser to this to make it fairer.

Each side is given a goal to achieve, so Utd will be expected to finish 1st where as Wigan might only be expected to avoid relegation. Points are then awarded to each manager based on the results each evening for beating teams ranked higher or holding a league position higher than their actual target so it would be possible for the manager of Wigan Athletic to be top of the managers league table if they are in say, 9th or 10th place in the league if their results are good enough. This would be the table we would take the winner from and not necessarily the actual league table.

If it sounds a bit complicated, apologies, it really isn’t.

To make it fair and to avoid arguments over who manages who we are thinking of holding a draw to allocate teams which in the tradition of BeerandBoobs draws will be done in the presence of an independent adjudictor.

If you are interested in joining then either leave a reply below, tweet, text or email and we will get you involved.

Dwarfs Get Dumped on by Dogs

Well that was one long drawn out gameweek!

With only one game to focus on this weekend, those managers left concentrating on their teams at this late stage of the season were glued to the Liverpool/Swansea game awaiting the points fest that many hoped it would be.

Among them was a fresh faced Rookie by the name of Pete Lucas who, until recently was having one of the worst runs of luck in BeerandBoobs history as the manager of the Killer Whippet DogBots , one which is only bettered by that of Who R we Playin’ Now who are quite simply having a nightmare.

Lucas has struggled to get to grips with the finer points of Fantasy Management so far this season, a fact he puts down to having information withheld from him by league administrators at the offset. An allegation, which of course, is utterly untrue as all of the rules are freely available on the website and we cannot be held responsible for managers’ inability to be arsed reading them.

Recently however the Dogbots seem to have had an epiphany. Victories are beginning to come thick and fast and the play offs have once again become a possibility rather than a pipe dream.

This week however pundits were expecting the worst from the DogBots as they faced hardened veteran Spiros and his Dwarfs. Spiros is, as we know, the master of mind games as well as the king of the double gameweek, planning well in advance of such weeks in order to maximise his chance of getting a valuable 3 points. Both sides took to the field loaded with double gameweek players and, as expected, the Dwarfs held a respectable 17 point lead going into the final game.

Surely this was a walk in the park? The Dogbots obviously had other ideas. A massive haul of points from them saw them streak past the stunned and humbled Dwarfs who simply had no answer to the onslaught from the Bots.

In the end Spiros was left embarrassed by his inability to close out a game that was eminently winnable while Lucas saw his side climb well above the relegation zone for the first time this season and within sight of that elusive 8th spot.

Angry Dragons manager Cooper, was so disgusted at Spiros defeat that he called for the league admin to consider banning him from taking part in next year’s competition in order to teach him a lesson in allowing a rookie manager to embarrass one of the leagues stalwarts in such a way.

Cooper said

“He’s giving us all a bad name with his shoddy attitude. Some one should be having a face to chest talk with the little knob and giving him a serious talking to. Let’s boot him out for a year to teach him a lesson.”

Harsh? Cooper seems to think it’s an appropriate measure. What do you think?

First Round Cup Results and New Cup Favourites

The BeerandBoobs Fantasy Cup first round proper had a mixed bag of results this weekend with some some predictable and some surprising results.

Spiros and the ArgoDwarfs

67

V

60 United by Fear

Coops Troop

55

V

17 Balo’s Firework

Garbonzo FC

68

V

44 Sixteen Samurai

Sticky toffees

53

V

63 Steaua Needarest

Dyslexic Untied

71

V

38 New Springs 69ers

Who R we playin Now?

62

V

87

Italian Job

BEGD FC

58

V

51

Killer Whippet DogBots

Wii Unfit

47

V

40

Morgi’s Miracles

The biggest disappointment of the weekend saw the Killer Whippet Dogbots fall foul of the dreaded “Favourites” curse. After being installed as favourites after the draw the pressure obviously became too much and despite a respectable effort they just couldn’t overcome a BEGD FC side which seems to have finally found its feet.

So the search must shift for a new “victim” of the BBFC curse.

Let’s evaluate the candidates:

Photo 14-08-2012 20 53 00

Coops Troops

Having the season of their lives after three or four very average seasons.

The Troops are looking strong for a play-off place this year and many see a bright future in the Troops young manager, although one source close to him continually describes him as “just a lucky fucker”. Is the source correct or have the Troops got what it takes to fight a battle on two fronts? cacsascascasc                                                                                                                                                                                                                             s     sss

Photo 14-08-2012 21 16 00

Garbonzo FC

Rookie team of the year without any doubt. We were warned of their manager’s attention to detail by old foe Mollitt before the season started and Big George has not let us down. Third in the league and desperate to stop Mollitt from taking top spot. There is no doubt Garbonzo have the ability to win the cup but we cannot see George being distracted in his pursuit to prevent Steaua achieving their destiny to put enough effort into the cup competition to be considered favourites. dsvsvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

DUKIT

Dyslexic Untied

Undoubtedly the biggest team left in the competition that has not yet lifted any silverware. There is no doubt this cup could be theirs for the taking if they concentrated solely on it but this team deserves/is capable of much more and the league/play offs is still seen as their primary goal. They will be tough to beat but ultimately they will only divert attention to it if they make the final.

fgdgdg

NEW CRESTS 3

Italian Job

We come to our first real contender for the cup favourites tag. The Italians are languishing just outside the play off places and have been there for most of the season. Their stop start form has kept them from occupying a top eight place all season. Last year it was a similar story and Metcalfe turned his attentions to cup glory instead with great success and he may wish to lift that trophy again this year, but we suspect he may say “been there, done that” and push for the play offs in the remaining weeks.

sd

NEW CRESTS 8

Wii Unfit

The minnows. Should everyone’s favourite underdogs make the cup final it will be as surprising as Bradford City’s efforts in the Capital One Cup. Unfit are the team everyone wants in the next round and their manager is taking it one game at a time whilst also trying to avoid relegation. Avoiding bottom spot is the primary focus of Blackpool’s finest. A cup final would be a great day out but ultimately victory is unlikely.

a

NEW CRESTS 5

Steaua Needarest

The cup couldn’t be further from manager Mollit’s mind as he pushes metronomically on to League glory. Mollitt has turned Steaua into a machine in the league and he is concentrating only on one thing – league victories. Steaua could win this cup and Mollitt wouldn’t even notice. A contender but a unlikely to risk a league win for a cup one at this stage of the season.

a

BEGDKIT2

BEGD FC

Another serious contender for the favourites tag. BEGD are enjoying one of their best seasons to date after under achieving in previous years. Brad has always said that his side are a sleeping giant and this could just be the year for them. Their league form has been better of late but they are placed in 13th at the moment and are at a cross roads turn left to push for the play offs and fail with time running out or turn right and divert all resources to winning the three games left to win the cup which is well within reach now.

a

DUKIT

Spiros and the ArgoDwarfs

Many would suspect that the Dwarfs, placed as they are in 4th  are well in the running for the league title. We don’t think so. 12 point separates them from the league leaders and this is a gap too big to close for the Dwarfs with Steaua in the form that they are. Play off football is all but assured however, and this could be the time for the Dwarfs to chase the cup knowing that they will still be in the play offs when the league closes leaving them chasing two very achievable trophies. Knowing the Dwarfs love of all things shiny, it is for this reason that they are now installed as the new Cup Favourites. Let the curse live on!

Will the curse strike again?

The cup draw will take place this Sunday at 7pm as usual and Gameweek 28 will see the final eight teams take to the field to determine the semi final line up.

BeerandBoobs Fantasy Cup 2013 First Round Draw.

With the Preliminary draw done and dusted the First round proper draw was made earlier tonight.

Some interesting ties to whet the appetite with the new cup favourites the Dogbots given a favourable tie against BEGD FC while the Gall dynasty should be more than happy with their ties against United by fear and Wii Unfit,

For  a full run down of the draw see below.

Spiros and the ArgoDwarfs

 

v

 

United by Fear

Coops Troops

 

v

 

Balo’s Firework

Garbonzo FC

 

v

 

Sixteen Samurai

Sticky Toffees

 

v

 

Steaua Needarest

Dyslexic Untied

 

v

 

New Springs 69ers

Who R We Playin Now?

 

v

 

Italian Job

BEGD FC

 

v

 

Killer Whippet Dogbots

Wii Unfit

 

v

 

Morgi’s Miracles

Ties will be played over game week 25

Good Luck all